How to Ask for What You Want (Even if You’re an Introvert)

By Carmen Reed-Gilkison | Strategy

Oct 18

I’m kinda shy.

I’m also an introvert, so putting myself out there isn’t easy.

I’d much rather hang out at home with my dogs working away on my computer than reach out to other people and risk embarrassment, rejection, confrontation – you know – all the “people-y” things that my imagination conjures up to stall the whole reaching out process.

Don't get me wrong; I love people, it's just easier to speak to one or two at a time than it is hundreds, thousands, or more.

None of my natural tendencies to keep to myself ("hide" sounds so dramatic!) help when marketing myself and my business; so I push myself out of my comfort zone every single day.

It's my practice to do something every day to move my business forward, but the key to success is not only taking action toward your goals but taking the right action.

I hate to break it to you (and myself) but 99% of the time the right action is reaching out to others. After all, if you don’t, nobody will know who you are, what you do, or why they should care.

There’s always a silver lining to every cloud, and the silver lining associated with reaching out to living, breathing, people is that you’ll increase your business success exponentially.

Oh, and, all those things my imagination conjures up rarely, if ever, happen. ?

It’s settled then; we’re going to reach out to people and ask for what we want! But, HOW should we go about doing it?

Success in business and life comes down to relationships. We've all heard the adage "It's not what you know, it's who you know," right?

That underscores the importance of relationships.

The following tips will help you build relationships and leverage them:

  • Add friends on Facebook! I learned about the power of this simple tactic from Marc Mawhinney, and it's gold!

    Facebook allows us each to have 5,000 friends - use that to reach a wider audience. You never know who will be your most significant referral source.
  • Engage.

    When you make new friends engage with them! I've made some fantastic connections by adding friends, showing genuine interest and sending non-salesy introductions via Messenger.

    Push yourself to be active in groups where your ideal audience is likely to hang out. Help people, answer questions, be supportive and be consistent.

    People will start to get to know you, and they'll learn that they can count on you. That's huge.

    Post questions and be engaging to encourage engagement from others on your social pages.

  • Provide value before asking for something; doing this always paves the way for a win/win situation, and that's our goal. We aren't out to take advantage of people; we are looking for people to raise up who are willing to raise us up - win/win.
  • ASK! Don't let an opportunity pass you by because you're too shy to ask.

    If you see someone posting about something that interests you say so.

    If you have an idea for collaborating with someone reach out to them and invite them into the conversation; I've been a part of some incredible opportunities just because I asked.

I challenge you to consider that even the seasoned entrepreneurs and industry leaders can use some fresh ideas. Don't hesitate to approach someone based on their status, just make sure you show respect first.


Build a relationship:

  • Buy a product or service from them.
  • Be active in their group, so they get to know you (being active in groups is such a great way to grow your business)
  • Be of service to them first. Once you've provided value and built a relationship, you'll know when the timing is right to ASK for something in return from them.

There you have it! I hope you put these tips into action and watch as your business grows just because you asked.

If you're struggling with social media marketing (what to post, when to post, and even WHY to post), my Social Media 101 5-Day e-Course will help you build a solid foundation to grow from.

But, don't take my word for it, here's what Julie had to say:

“After taking the Locally Rocks Social Media 101 course, I understand the different kinds of social media, what they are used for and how they serve a business. I’m really thinking about my ideal client now, and how to reach them. It’s a fun course and has given me perspective in the area of marketing – something I desperately need.”

Spread the word!

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